Understanding the Tears…
Have you ever had your child break down in tears after receiving your help?
While adults perceive assistance as a compassionate gesture, relieving burdens or offering support, for children, it can be a complex experience. To them, your aid might feel like you are taking away a source of personal accomplishment—a skill or privilege they've mastered and want to do!
Let's explore this perspective shift and understand how we can go about offering support to your child.
“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” ”
Understanding the child’s perspective involves pausing, observing, and engaging with your child. Try asking clarifying questions like, "Would you like assistance?" Allow them the time and agency to make their own choice. This approach not only nurtures their independence and confidence but also cultivates invaluable problem-solving skills that extend far beyond the immediate task at hand.
Here are some practical strategies you can try the next time you see your child doing something difficult or new.
Observe and Assess: Pause to observe your child's actions and assess their ability with the task before jumping in. This allows you to gauge their level of competence and determine if they genuinely need help.
Encourage Problem-Solving: Instead of jumping in to solve the problem for them, encourage children to brainstorm solutions on their own. Prompt them with guiding questions to help them think critically and develop problem-solving skills.
Provide Guidance: Offer gentle guidance and support as they navigate challenges. Rather than taking over the task, provide suggestions or demonstrate techniques that can help them accomplish it independently.
Acknowledge Efforts: Recognize and acknowledge your child's efforts and accomplishments, no matter how small. Reassure them that it's okay to ask for help when needed.
Build in Time: Recognize that children naturally take longer to accomplish tasks. Factor in extra time to accommodate their pace, granting them the opportunity to independently complete the task. If needed due to time constraints, validate your child’s efforts and explain the need for assistance while assuring them of additional time in the future to do it next time.
